Beautiful Disaster
by Jessica Stanley
Summary: This picks up directly after the final episode of Season 5. The way things could have gone for Shane... rated M for future sexytimes. Since Shane has such a difficult time with monogamy, this probably won't be restricted to Shane & Molly.
1. Chapter 1

"So what are you going to do now?" Bette asked quietly. She studied Shane's slumped body and the look of profound defeat on her face.

"I don't know," Shane mumbled. She ran a hand over her face and sighed. "Look, I'm sorry; I know you guys are worried about Angie. I didn't mean to dump on you."

Bette crouched down next to her and placed a hand on her forearm. "It's no problem. You can stay here tonight and try to talk to Jenny again in the morning."

"You sure Tina won't mind?" Shane asked in a low voice. She looked anxiously at the kitchen, where Tina was pacing back and forth as she talked on the phone with her boss. "She seemed kind of pissed at me before. I mean, I know I deserve it, but I don't want to make things weird between you guys."

Bette shook her head. "Don't worry about Tina. She's just upset about the Lez Girls fiasco. She didn't mean to snap on you earlier."

Shane rolled her eyes but her lips tugged up into a smile. After what she did to Jenny, she deserved Tina's wrath. "Yeah, sure."

Bette patted her knee and stood up. "I'm serious. Get some rest. I'll deal with T."

Shane stretched out on the couch and watched Bette walk across the room. She touched Tina on the wrist and the woman visibly relaxed, despite the obviously stressful phone call. Tina gave Bette a smile of thanks and they turned to make their way upstairs. Watching the intimate scene felt like an intrusion, and Shane felt a pang of jealousy.

She listened as the couple got ready for bed. Someone turned the bathroom sink on and a toilet flushed. Bare feet padded down the hallway and a door shut. The house eventually quieted, leaving her alone with just her thoughts.

The couch was uncomfortable and the living room was too hot. She shifted uncomfortably, wishing that Jenny had tossed out a pair of shorts when she threw her clothing outside.

Was she forever doomed to repeat the past?

She had loved Carmen. Really loved her. And yet, that didn't stop her from fucking it all up. But she was able to bottle all those terrible emotions up afterwards. She never thought about Carmen, or their almost wedding, or their nonexistent happily ever after.

None of it mattered to her anymore. That part of her was dead and buried.

Until Molly came along.

Molly.

Shane's chest tightened with anger as she remembered the hurtful words Phyllis had thrown at her. As much as she resented her, and wanted to hate her, she couldn't. Because everything she said was true.

She was nothing. She was a self-destructive loser who would never have the happiness she longed for.

Shane pushed off the couch and opened the back door. It was a hot, muggy night and stepping outside did little to cool her. The pool was an inviting blue haven and she considered stripping and diving in.

Her fingers were toying with the button on her jeans when she heard it. Voices.

Shane paused and cocked her head to the side, listening intently. The words were not clear but the voices themselves were, and she immediately picked out Jenny's and Molly's.

Her heart surged with hope. What was Molly doing at their place so late? She was supposed to be back on the East Coast. Shane darted out of the backyard and into the driveway, creeping closer to hear more of their conversation.

"Shane is at The Chateau, and she's fucking Nikki," Jenny drawled.

Panic clawed at her chest and Shane ran the rest of the driveway. She wouldn't let Jenny ruin what was left between her and Molly. "Molly? Molly!"

The two women froze and stared at her; Molly with tears shining on her pale skin and Jenny with dark, hate-filled eyes.

"I'm not fucking Nikki," Shane said desperately. "I – I went down on her at the premiere party. I didn't – it didn't mean anything, not like you do."

Jenny scoffed and rolled her eyes.

"It doesn't matter," Molly said stiffly. "It's not like…we're not together anyway."

"Yeah, it doesn't matter," Jenny echoed. "Because you don't care about either of us. You broke my heart and destroyed our friendship. And you obviously don't care about Molly, since you moved on so quickly."

The pity she felt for Jenny vanished as soon as Shane recognized her new angle. If Jenny couldn't be happy, then no one could. Shane ignored her and took a step towards Molly, her heart pounding a frantic beat.

"Jesus Christ, Jenny, _shut up!_ Molly, don't listen to her. Please," Shane pleaded.

"I was just returning your jacket," Molly said, her voice just above a whisper. She held out the jacket and stared at the ground. In her t-shirt, jeans and tears, Molly looked younger than ever. The tears broke Shane's heart.

"Look at me," Shane begged. "Please Molly."

"Just take your jacket," Molly said, holding it out again. She sniffled and avoided looking at her.

"Molly – "

"Take your fucking jacket, Shane," Molly choked out.

Jenny laughed and Shane fought the urge to punch her in the face. Just a few short hours ago she had been filled with overwhelming guilt and shame. She felt terrible for hurting their friendship. Now, though – now Jenny was threatening her relationship with Molly, and she wouldn't allow that.

"Can we go somewhere and talk?" Shane asked her, paying no attention to Jenny.

"Yeah, she can't stay here because I kicked her out for fucking my girlfriend," Jenny giggled.

Molly glanced at Jenny before finally looking at Shane. "I don't think that's a good idea. Here. Take it."

Shane took the jacket and shook her head, trying to find the words she so desperately needed to speak.

"Oh!" Molly bit her lip. "Um, your jacket…can I just have it back for a minute?"

Shane looked down at her jacket. "Why?"

"I think I left something in it," she whispered.

"Oooh, what's in your jacket, Shane?" Jenny sang. She reached for the jacket and Shane jerked it out of her reach.

Shane dug into the side pocket and felt her fingers close around a folded piece of paper.

"Oh, God," Molly muttered, her face flooding with color. She turned and bolted for her car.

"Molly, wait!"

Shane went after Molly, wondering what was in the note and why it would cause her to run. Part of her wanted to stop and read it, but the need to get Molly to stop was greater.

"Please, Molly! Talk to me," Shane demanded, catching her at her car. She grabbed her arm and forced Molly to turn around.

"Shane, let me go," Molly said calmly.

"We need to talk."

"I'm not talking to you right now," Molly shook her head. "Go back and talk to Jenny or whatever."

"What Jenny said isn't exactly true. It's – "

Molly laughed, but it was a hard sound. "You didn't fuck Nikki?"

"I did," Shane admitted. "But I thought we were over. I thought you went back to school. Why are you here?"

"Regardless of whether or not we were over, how could you do that to Jenny?" Molly asked, ignoring her question. "She's your best friend."

"Jenny told me they were over. She said Nikki was dead to her. I don't know what else I can say…it was stupid. It was a stupid mistake."

"Why did you do it?"

_Why?_

The questioned haunted Shane.

"I don't know," she said huskily. "A moment of weakness. I missed you, I guess. It just felt good to be touched by someone."

"That's not fair!" Molly said angrily, wiping away another batch of tears. "Don't make this about me. You weren't thinking of me when you did this."

"I'm not saying it to make you feel bad," Shane insisted. She opened the car door and gestured for Molly to get inside. "Let's go somewhere and talk."

"I don't want to talk."

"Fine. I'll read the note, then," Shane said, stepping away from her. She pulled the note out of her pocket and watched sheer panic flit across Molly's face.

"No!" Molly lunged for it. "Don't read that. You can't read it! I take it all back!"

Shane's breath caught when Molly brushed against her, trying to reach the note that Shane now held above her head. Molly didn't look her in the eye, concentrating instead on getting the note back.

Jenny's front door slammed shut and the momentary distraction was enough for Shane to gain the upper hand. She pinned Molly against the car, the pressure of their bodies against each other proving to be a distraction of its own.

The sexual heat that was always between them immediately flared up, and both of them felt it.

"You can't use sex to make this go away," Molly whispered, her breath caressing Shane's lips. Just another couple of inches and they would be touching.

"We're not having sex," Shane answered her, hearing the deepness in her own voice that wasn't there before. "We're talking."

"_You're_ talking," she disagreed. "I'm going home."

"What's in the note, Molly?"

Molly lifted her chin, an act of defiance that only brought them closer together. "Words written by a silly girl in a weak moment. They don't mean anything."

"They mean _everything_," Shane whispered. Molly's chest rose and fell quickly with each shallow breath she took. The tension between them was rapidly becoming overwhelming and it was all Shane could do to stay still. Molly's eyes were on her lips and it was another minute before she was able to look up and make eye contact.

"Take me home with you," Shane requested.

Molly didn't answer. She ducked out from underneath Shane's arm and slid into the driver's seat. Taking her wordless response as a yes, Shane slipped into the passenger seat.

* * *

does anyone still read l word fan fic? i just watched the entire series and fell in love with shane...if you come across this, please let me know what you think. i'll continue it if anyone gets into it :)


	2. Chapter 2

The ride to Molly's house was short and tense. Shane didn't particularly want to go there; the comments that Phyllis made about her after she and Molly were caught together reverberated in her mind.

Shane was uneducated. It was true, and she could accept the harsh reality of her situation, but the words still stung. It wasn't like there was something mentally wrong with her…if she went back to school she'd have no problem continuing her education.

What worried her more was the fact that she was holding Molly back. Regardless of how Molly felt about that, Phyllis was correct. Again.

The internship with that fancy lawyer's office was a once in a lifetime opportunity, and Molly wanted to throw it away to spend the summer with her. A summer spent with Molly, surfing and lying on the beach and fucking, was the epitome of an amazing summer. But Shane couldn't do it, knowing that Molly was cutting herself off at the knees.

"Stop thinking," Molly said, her voice cutting through the darkness.

Shane gazed at the lights on the dashboard. "I'll get right on that."

"So you went down on Niki because you were lonely and wanted to be touched."

The abrupt change of topic caused Shane's stomach to lurch. She shifted in her seat so she was facing Molly. "Mol, I thought you were gone. When Phyllis spoke to me, she made it clear that not only was I not good enough for you, but that she firmly believes this is just a phase and you'll go back to your boyfriend."

Molly growled and her hands tightened on the steering wheel. "Why won't any of you trust me to speak and act for myself? If I wanted to do the internship, I would be there. If I wanted to be with him, I would. But I'm not. I don't want to. I'm here, aren't I?"

"Yes, you are," Shane agreed softly. Anger flashed in Molly's eyes and flushed her cheeks pink. Light cut across her face each time they passed a streetlight, and for those brief seconds Shane couldn't breathe. She was beautiful when she was angry.

They arrived at Molly's home after a short drive and Shane realized she had no idea how to proceed. Take what she wanted? Take Molly, and damn the rest of them? Or continue on the path for Molly's greater good... Spare her the pain of their future inevitable break up, probably caused by something ridiculous like a scantily-clad girl at Hit. All Shane's fault, of course.

"Fuck! My mother's home," Molly seethed, the car headlights illuminating her mother's vehicle.

Disappointment hit Shane hard. Okay, so maybe for a moment she really had been considering it – going for something with Molly. But now, whatever had been going to happen was derailed. They'd say goodnight and this moment between them would pass.

"Whatever," Molly shrugged. "You're coming in. it's late enough that she's probably asleep."

"Absolutely not," Shane shook her head. "Your mother made it very clear to me that I'm not welcome here."

"So what, you were okay coming in if she wasn't home?" Molly pointed out. She cut the engine.

Shane ran a hand through her hair and sighed.

"Okay, okay," Molly put up her hands. "I'll get the keys to the guest house and we'll go out there. Is that okay?"

"That's fine," she agreed, feeling a bit of relief. At least they wouldn't be under the same roof as Phyllis. When Molly didn't get out of the car, Shane looked over at her.

Molly was staring at her, and the silence between them grew heavy. She leaned forward over the center console. Shane felt the pull and didn't resist, couldn't resist. Their lips met in a hard, sloppy kiss. It had been too long since they were together, and Molly's lips were greedy and consuming.

Molly reached up and pulled her hair out of its ponytail. Shane suppressed a groan; Molly knew she loved to run her fingers through her hair. Almost immediately Shane had a hand tangled into the silky tresses, angling her head for deeper kisses. Molly moaned into her mouth and shifted in her seat, trying to get closer.

Shane wanted to feel the friction of their bodies together. They needed to talk, that was important…but now it was in the back corner of her mind. More urgent was the need to have Molly's legs wrapped around her waist, hearing her cry out in pleasure.

"Let's go inside," Shane urged, tearing her lips away from Molly's. It was too hot outside and the car was like an oven. She felt a trickle of sweat make its way down between her breasts.

"Okay," Molly agreed. Her lips were red and puffy, and she had those big innocent doe eyes. Shane wanted to fuck her. Right now.

Molly attacked her once they were outside of the car. She shoved Shane against the cool metal of the passenger door and Shane groaned at the contact. Molly's hands roamed across her breasts, gently tweaking one pert nipple, before sliding down her belly and into the front of her loose jeans.

"Molly," Shane gasped, feeling her fingers dip into her underwear. Always a quick student, Molly remembered what Shane liked and went directly for her clit. "Ah, Molly…"

"We should – we should go inside," Shane tried to speak.

"You're so wet," Molly whispered into her neck. She kissed along her throat. "I love that."

"I thought we weren't having sex," Shane said, working on keeping her breathing even. It wasn't easy, because Molly's deft fingertips were quickly building her up to what promised to be an intense orgasm. Molly pressed her hips against Shane's, rolling them and giving her the friction she needed so desperately.

Was she actually trying to get Molly to stop? What was wrong with her?

"You don't want to?" Molly asked, pulling away slightly to see her face. She had just discovered how much she loved taking the lead. In all the times they had been together, Shane always initiated the action. She was in charge. Now Molly loved seeing her so flustered and disheveled.

Shane looked down between them, where Molly's hand had stilled. "Well… I mean, of course I want to…you can feel how much I want to. But you said before that you didn't want me to use sex to make this go away."

"You're not," Molly smiled, placing a kiss on Shane's lips. "I am."

"That doesn't work for us, either," Shane argued. "What are we doing, Molly? Why are you home?"

Molly frowned and pulled away, taking her hand out of Shane's pants. "I told you. I turned down the internship. I'm spending the summer here."

"Jesus Christ," Shane muttered. "Your mother is going to flip her shit, you know that, right?"

The frown on Molly's face hadn't disappeared yet. "Go wait at the guest house. I'll get the keys and meet you there, and when we get inside you can stop cockblocking me."

"I don't have a cock," Shane reminded her, finally smiling a little.

Molly blushed and rolled her eyes. "Just go!"

Shane laughed and watched Molly disappear into the house. No lights came in, so she assumed Molly was being sneaky. Shane cut through the lawn, past the pool (which was doubly as inviting as Bette's), and sat down in front of the guest house. Molly only kept her five minutes, and had a backpack slung over her shoulder when she appeared.

"What's that?" Shane asked, nodding at the backpack.

"Treats for us." Molly unlocked the door and gestured for Shane to go ahead in. She flicked the lights on, and Shane was impressed with the quality of the guest house. She had little time to admire it, though, because Molly launched her second attack.

She dropped the pack to the floor, cringing at the sound of glass clanking against glass, and slowly approached Shane.

Shane had plenty of time to deflect her, or distract her even – but she didn't want to. Molly shed her shirt in the short walk to Shane's arms, which welcomed her wholeheartedly. She sighed contentedly as Shane's lips captured hers; nothing else had ever felt so right.

"You're not in charge tonight," Molly reminded her. Shane grunted and quickly helped Molly out of her silky white bra. Her cool hands cupped her heavy, swollen breasts, her thumbs teasing Molly's stiff nipples.

Molly allowed Shane to torture her for a few more minutes before taking the reins again. Shane's dark blue eyes flashed with some unknown emotion when she shoved her away.

"Don't tease me," Shane warned her.

Molly laughed and walked Shane backwards until they hit the couch. She pushed her down and Shane sat there, gazing up at her, and Molly felt like a goddess under those lustful eyes. She kneeled down in front of Shane and ran her hands up her jean-clad legs. Shane's breathing changed, becoming more shallow and quick, and she slid forward on the couch, pushing her pelvis to the edge.

Knowing that the delay and the anticipation were turning Shane on even more, Molly purposely went slowly. She slipped her hand between her legs, gently squeezing the thick fabric. Shane moaned and bucked her hips.

"No. Stay still," Molly commanded. Shane bit her lip but remained motionless. Molly unzipped her jeans and tugged them down, letting them bunch up at her feet. She cupped her again, this time only the thin fabric of Shane's Calvin Klein's between her hand and all that delicious wetness.

"Please, Molly," Shane whimpered.

Molly looked up and felt her heart swell. She had never seen Shane look so vulnerable. Everything was heightened – their touches, the whispers of emotion. She felt it, too.

She touched Shane's jutting hip bones, watching them move under pale skin as Shane rolled them. Shane's hands were tightly fisted at her side. Molly smiled to herself, relishing this control, and wondering how long Shane could possibly last.

Molly hooked her fingers under the elastic of Shane's CKs and slowly pulled them down. Shane was almost gasping now, and as soon as the underpants were around her ankles on the floor she spread her legs wide open.

"Mmmmm," Molly hummed appreciatively. Even in the low light she could see the glistening evidence of Shane's arousal. She reached out and ran her fingers through the short curls, finally slipping them into the wet, smooth folds.

"Oh, yeah," Shane bit out. "Please, Molly."

"Ssssshh." Molly continue to tease her, circling her clit until Shane's hips began moving with her, and then sliding her fingers somewhere else. She did it again and again, until Shane was writhing in sweet agony, her control about to snap.

Shane's head slammed back against the couch. "Fuck, Molly! I can't – "

Her words cut off when Molly bent her head and sucked her swollen flesh into her mouth. Shane yelped in surprise, the intensity of the sensation almost hurting. Molly grabbed her hips and pulled her forward so her ass was hanging off the couch, supported in Molly's hands.

Her tongue was everywhere and the wet sound of Molly going down on her was too loud and far too sexy. Shane couldn't handle it – she couldn't hang on. The speed at which she was approaching her orgasm was almost embarrassing. As if reading her mind, Shane felt Molly slide a finger inside of her, then another.

"Oh, God," Shane moaned, her voice huskier than usual. She reached down and grabbed a fistful of Molly's hair, and felt Molly moan against her pussy. "Fuck, Molly. Fuck. Fuck!"

Molly pushed her face against her harder and sucked and licked and fucked until Shane came apart in her arms. Her body went rigid and she let out another stream of curses before slumping back against the couch. She gently pushed Molly away, which didn't offend her at all because she knew how sensitive Shane was after she came.

"Holy shit, Molly," she whispered, her voice kind of dazed. "Wow."

Molly straightened up and smiled, licking her lips. She'd only gone down on Shane one other time, and she'd fantasized about it constantly since then. She wanted the next time to be special, to really give Shane the ultimate pleasure. Judging by the sleepy sated look on Shane's face, she accomplished it.

"Yeah?" she asked shyly.

"Yeah," Shane agreed. She held out her hand and when Molly took it, yanked her against her. "And guess what?"

"What?" Molly asked.

"Now it's your turn," Shane whispered.

Her breath caught and goose bumps broke out on Molly's skin.

* * *

what do you think? holler at me :)


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